Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Shit My Dog Has Eaten

This is our dog Bear. Bear has been known to get into quite a bit of mischief throughout his three and a half years of life. This dog will eat anything not nailed down and some things that are. I named him Bear when I got him as a widdle puppers because he looked like a roly poly bear cub. Turns out the name was appropriate even with age, because now he forages like a damn bear.

Roly Poly Bear Cub

For your reading enjoyment I present:

Shit My Dog Has Eaten:

Drywall (not a corner...the MIDDLE of the damn wall)
1lb bag of Harry and David Chocolate Covered Raspberries
Cat poop
 Paper muffin liners
Makeup Brushes (It's a stick with a tail!)
Nylon stockings
THREE sticks of butter (simultaneously and subsequently barfed all over my bed)
THREE paper butter wrappers (see above)
Several tubes of lipstick
Four wooden spoons
Used tissues (mmm, salty)
Couch snack mix (stuffs his whole head into the couch cushions eating whatever's in there)
Several whole bags of chips
Carpet (pulled into strands like spaghetti)
Six pairs of sunglasses (and counting)
Half bowl of ceasar pasta salad
Whole loaf of Challah Bread (oy!)
Half loaf of chocolate chip bread
Cat Food
Shoes (only high heeled ones, the stiletto part is like a leather covered stick!)
Cell phone (....yep luckily I had just gotten a new one)
Entire bowl of queso dip (Ole!)
Sour Patch Kids

But you know what he WILL NOT EAT?
Wasabi Peas (yea, I figured he eats everything else, let him try one. He spits them out!)

This is the list of only some of the things that really stood out in my memory. I know there has been more. Now that he's a little older (more mature...bahaha) he has mostly stopped eating non-food items. He knows to chew his toys and that's it. That does not stop him, however, from jumping on the counter when we are not looking. Apparently he can reach to the BACK of the counter and the sink. He's a big-ass dog!


  1. Oh man... I wish I could post a pic in the comment...lol. I have a pic of one of my dogs SURROUNDED by everything that WAS in the trash can before she pulled it out and shredded it...lol

  2. A cell phone, really? Like ingested whole or broken into bits and eaten little by little?

  3. I have a friend whose dog wasn't acting right - long story short, she took him to the vet, they ran tests, did xrays, and determined there was a blockage. Vet did surgery and pulled out a Beanie Baby bear. Not one of the little ones from McDonalds, but a full sized Beanie Baby. It was in one piece. No teeth marks. The dog swallowed.it.whole.

    I won't even go into what I've found in the kids' diapers when they were younger....

  4. Heather- He totally gets in the garbage too. We thought we outsmarted him with the step kind...no he opens it with his nose.
    Christi-Chewed the cell phone into pieces. Not sure if any were swallowed...he was fine after thankfully, but I had a large text message bill after ;)
    Amy-sadly that doesn't surprise me. Dogs are crazy animals. That is hilarious...thank goodness the dog was ok!

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  6. Too funny...and I am laughing with you! We just rescued a 110 lb rotty mix from the humane society, having just put down over the last year two wonderful, very old, well-behaved, dogs. This new dog, Max, chews golf balls to bits, has destroyed every toy he has been given, and can pick up a basketball in his teeth--and puncture it. At nearly 5 feet tall standing on his back legs, he has cleaned things off of the back of the kitchen counter. Nothing is safe anymore. I loved this post, by the way...and am inspired to keep a tally of what Max consumes. :-)

  7. Teresa, Thanks for reading! I am glad I am not alone in my dog woes. This is just a list of the top of my head sadly. LOL
    Sorry to hear about your dogs being put down, that is definitely a difficult thing. Sounds like Max keeps you on your toes!

  8. That reminds me, if you ladies follow me on facebook, you should upload pics of your crazy dogs! I wanna see these beasts!