Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Be An Asshole, Just Don't Drive Like One.

We are all guilty of occasionally being an inattentive driver. You're feeling around in your purse for your cell phone when it rings, or yelling at your kids in the backseat, or eating a burger, or making a call. I am even guilty of the occasional makeup application in the rear-view mirror. But some people take their downtime during their driving commute a little too far. Sometimes the things people do while driving are incredibly dangerous...sometimes they are just fucking weird.

 The following is a list of crazy/dangerous/stupid shit I have witnessed people doing while driving.
While this may be hilarious, I would like to take the opportunity to remind everyone to CONCENTRATE on driving please :)


1.  A guy smoking a cigarette THROUGH A STOMA IN HIS THROAT.

2. A woman reading a large magazine. "Hmm, Ladies Home Journal has a great article about conserving gas..."

3. A young woman texting with both hands on the highway.

4. A guy reading a book. "Once upon a time, there was an asshole, who crashed into a schoolbus..."

5. A nun...(yes, you read that right) SEWING with a needle and thread. Both hands. "Father O'Reilly really needs this button fixed"

6. My own brother once admitted to me he texts while driving, with his PHONE STILL IN HIS POCKET.

7. I often see men shaving with an electric razor while driving.

8. People doing 80mph with the compact spare (donut) tire.

9. People racing each other down the highway...for 9 miles.

10. People with their toddlers not only without a child safety seat, but not even buckled in, bouncing around in the back seat.

11. People driving with their dog sitting in their lap (might fly if you have a chihuahua, but not when its a black lab!!)

12. Dan over at Single Dad Laughing recently posted about how he witnessed a guy driving around with a bald eagle in the back of his truck!

What kinds of crazy things have you witnessed people doing behind the wheel? It could be funny or dangerous. What are you willing to admit you have done? It's ok, I won't tell anyone :)


  1. Okay...when I was reading and scrolled down to the picture...OMG...that made me laugh so hard! My husband would tell you that it was probably me driving the car...I grew up in Jersey, you learn to drive defensively...he's a southern boy...he doesn't get it...thanks for the laugh! Love it!

  2. Ah yes, I used to live in NY briefly. Worst drivers EVER. I feel your pain. :)

  3. That photo? Yikes! I can't believe some of the things people do while driving. Your list is absolutely frightening...and believable. (shudder)

  4. Looking at that picture. D@mn! That had to be on purpose. No one can be that incompetent of a driver.

  5. Zobop- I would hope not, but maybe it was someone working on a painting or perhaps baking a pie while driving.
    Janene- haha I wish I had made them up sadly.
    Thanks for reading!

  6. OMG you have been applying make up in the car since High School, except then I took the wheel for you from the passenger side so you could do your work. LMAO I hope these days one hand is still on the wheel.

  7. Always at least one hand on the wheel. Unless you are around to steer for me :)