Monday, June 27, 2011

It's All Fun And Games Till Someone Gets Maced

I have a friend. We will call him "J". He's a nice enough guy, your average teddy bear type. But for some unknown reason...he has the WORST luck with women. And no, I am not exaggerating. I have never met someone who is getting crapped on more in his quest to no longer walk the planet alone.

J has had this problem since long before I knew him. He once dated a girl for a while, then found out she was a Craigslist hooker on the side (and spent the money he gave her on drugs).

He had another woman dump him because he lost his well-paying job. She was a single mom that did not want to have to work to support herself and her child.

Let's not forget the time J was at the grocery store and saw a woman struggling with her bags in the parking lot. He offered her help. She pepper sprayed him.

One time, we were talking about a girl he had once dated. I asked "whatever happened to her. Did you guys break up?" His response was "Well...we never ACTUALLY broke up. It was implied when she got arrested for assault".

He's been stood up countless times. Including the bitch he took out to dinner, who got up to go to the restroom (after ordering herself a drink and an appetizer) and bolted, leaving J to sit for nearly an hour before the waiter hinted sadly that she probably wasn't going to be coming back.

When I asked J about his dating life, he said "Some times it works out...most times I get pepper-sprayed". This poor boy should have built up some kind of immunity by now.

My only piece of advice to J is that he needed to change up the type of girl he was going for. They were all the same, and he was getting treated the same by each one.

These are just a few of the many dozens of examples of what J has dealt with in his dating endeavors. In addition there were other generic crazies and cling-ons too numerous to mention.

Do you have any crazy tales from your dating days? Know a single friend of yours that is always getting involved in relationship shenanigans? Think you know what's wrong with J's "game"? Leave your comments below and help a brotha out!

1 comment:

  1. Oh the poor guy. :( I don't have any advice because I seem to attract the same crazies - or the really nice ones live a million miles away. Don't you have any nice single non-psychotic friends that you could hook him up with? LOL