Friday, June 17, 2011

The "Great" Outdoors

It's summer time! (Almost) In the Land of 10,000 Lakes, we folks wait all year for summer. We brave negative temperatures and we measure our snow in FEET. Inches are for wusses. So during the 4 or so decent days in the summer where its not raining, stiflingly hot, sickeningly humid and festering with mosquitoes...we go camping.

In a few short weeks, I will be "roughing it" about as much as any city girl can....I will be sleeping in a tent. With an air mattress. And an electric fan. And my laptop. At a site with running water and flushing toilets. Across the street from the largest water park conglomerate in America. Our second annual camping trip to Wisconsin Dells.

We will be staying at the same park we did last year. And last year was an adventure to say the least....

You gonna eat that? 
All was good and well in camping land, until we settled in our tents for the first night. Then we noticed our incredibly obnoxious "neighbors". Now, of course camping you expect there to be loud kids, people having bonfires till the wee hours of the night, etc. What you don't expect is a rowdy group of belligerent dudes and dudettes who have the most elaborately ghetto campsite complete with tarp tents on vehicles, a big screen TV hooked up with a Wii, who are yelling long into the night. We chalked it up to drunks having a good time, and so we suffered through the first night.

The partying continued literally all night and well into the next day, when we realized many of the participants had not actually gone to bed. And were still full of energy. Later, we would find out why...

Around dinner time, all but one of the crew had left for the strip club. The lonely dude stayed behind. Why you might ask? To do coke off the picnic table of course!

Yes that's right. The people next to us, witnessed the gent cutting up lines of cocaine in the clear blue wide open, and proceeding to snort it up off the dirty wooden table. He called the campground office, who in turn called the police.

The most exciting thing to happen to the Wisconsin Dells
Police force...ever.

As we ate our dinner, the police department rolled up in full force. Upon arrival, they asked the fellow in question for his identification. Which he produced. Still covered with blow. Oh yes. Class acts they have there in Wisconsin. But that's a post for another day.

So while all this goes down, Mr. White Powder's posse shows up, blissfully unaware of the "crack"down going on at their site. They are immediately asked to leave the campground (and as we found out later, were promptly pulled over and arrested once they were off private property and on the highway, presumably loaded up and high as hell). While all this was going down, myself, Andrew, my friend Jesse and his then girlfriend watched in amusement with the tattletale neighbors.

And immediately downloaded and blasted the theme song to COPS. Why? Because we may be assholes, but we aren't fucking stupid. How often does this kind of opportunity present itself? Not often. God bless internet capable smart phones.

It was an exhausting trip, complete with a friggen tsunami later that night, that caused us to wake up in four inches of water, with torrential downpour, thunder and lightening. Poor Bear couldn't handle all the excitement.

Whats your craziest vacation experience? I have TONS of them. There's a saying in my family that adventure always follows us when we travel. More to come!


  1. Some people have no sense.
    When I was a baby, my parents took me on my first camping trip. Nearby was a group of young people who stayed up ALL NIGHT partying very loudly. This apparently kept me awake and crying most of the night. My mom was so mad, that at about 6am she walked over to the party camp where they had all finally passed out. She wandered around their camp, banging a metal spoon on a metal pan and yelling about how they should all wake up and enjoy the nice day. The moral of the story? Don't mess with a new mom...

  2. Brilliant! I love her already. haha