Sunday, April 17, 2011

This Girl's Got Game...

As a member of the female population of this fair planet, I am part of a slight minority of the world's population. Enter in the fact that I am a female who enjoys video games, and that minority figure becomes a whole lot bigger.

When referring to "girl gamers" I am not talking about the girls who play Farmville, or Cute Dragon, or anything involving puppies, makeup or babies. I am referring to the women of the world who play games designed for boys: World of Warcraft, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Halo or any of the other games of deliciously mindless violence, or gory strategy. I have owned and used a video game console almost my whole life, from my original NES when I was five, to my Sega Genesis, to my GameCube, To my Xbox and finally my Xbox 360. I have also played a few PC games, but not as much as console games. I am not some kind of addict, I do not spend days on end having marathon sessions, but you will generally find me in front of our 50 inch Plasma shooting the crap out of my stress at the end of a long day.

Now, when I say female gamer, no doubt there is one of several images that automatically "spawns" in your brain. There are certain stigmas that follow me as a Countess of the Console. Let's break them down. 

1. The Hot Chick: There are some men who that every time there's a girl on the other end of the controller, it means she's crazy and ridiculously hot, and is likely playing the game wearing little else than her Xbox Live headset. This is totally ridiculous, and is like assuming every woman who is a teacher is going to be a bonafide vixen.  Sure, you may find a woman attractive because she plays video games, but this is not the same as expecting every girl who touches a button to be a supermodel. We would all love to look like Lara Croft, but don't kid's not gonna happen. No I will not accept your friend request on Xbox Live when I have no idea who you are. You are getting your real life mixed up with your make believe again. Game Over. 

2: The Disgusting Blob: Again, this goes along with #1...guys use this all the time as the biggest insult in their arsenal...if a woman is better than them at their game, they panic and go with the easiest and most brainless comeback ever. If she's better than him, it surely must mean that she is a fat disgusting she-beast who spends all day gaming. It is of course the ONLY logical explanation why she would be destroying you over and over again. Right? 

Now, unfortunately, some women have decided that video games are some type of warped dating service. They get on the mic and put on their best sultry voice and beg for testosterone raging male attention. Ladies, if this applies to you...please get a life. It's one thing to legitimately meet someone and strike up a conversation, its quite another to sit there and talk about how "big his gun is". I know you don't hear how completely idiotic you sound, nor do I believe you would care if you did. You're just making a fool of yourself and 99% of the guys in virtual video game land don't give a crap about you, and find you incessantly annoying. They are there for the game, not for the bimbo who is causing their team to lose because she's got no kills and has died 16 times in the first three minutes of the round. Not sexy. 

The other type of women that I frown when I see/hear them is the girls who are playing simply because they have something to prove. Sure a little friendly competition is fun, but lay off the psycho vigilante vendetta. No one wants to hear you trash talking, especially if you can't live up to it. Sure I will make smart ass comments on Xbox after a particularly brutal round, but that's part of my personality. I am ok with losing too, no one is perfect. There is just simply no reason to walk around saying how you will kick any guy's ass and then teabag his corpse. It's just uncalled for. 

So with that, my friends, I am going to go shoot some noobs. For those of you who play Black Ops, I always enjoy having friends to play with, guys or girls. 

And on a final note, I will enlighten everyone with an interesting tidbit: I often get asked as a 28 year old woman who frequently partakes in online gaming debauchery, why it is that I play, since this is obviously not the norm. Whenever someone asks, I simply smile and say "I work in customer service, and shooting people in real life is frowned upon."  

Until next time kiddos!

Level up!

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