Saturday, March 13, 2010

Chicken Fingers for the Single Person's Soul

Dating sucks.

Don't get me wrong, being single is great...relationships are great. I am talking about "actively" dating around. The endless, mind-numbing strings of first dates and blind dates just wear on me quickly. How many times can you talk about where you work (especially if you have a temporary, bullshit job like me), the weather and meaningless chitchat? What's worse is if you have female intuition telling you to RUN for the hills...and you ignore it.

On that note, I have a few complaints with the male species. I don't mean to single out men, because TRUST ME, I know dealing with a woman can be like sitting in a closet with a dozen angry wolverines...but lately some of these "dates" I have been going on have been begging for a kick in the groin. As I talked about in my last post, it seems the consensus amongst men of my generation are not interested in "purchasing the bovine", but merely "procuring the complementary dairy products" as they say. Specifically it seems there's an assumption about us "curvy" ladies, one that we must all be desperate spinsters who are easy prey. Not so my friend. There are many perks to dating a fat girl. Large boobs is just the beginning (unless you are my darling friend Margo, who's so awesome in every other aspect, God couldn't give her jugs in fairness to the rest of us!) Us "voluptuous ladies also tend to be good cooks (never trust a skinny chef!) And most importantly...we obviously don't starve ourselves, so you can bet we won't order a salad and be all pissed off all night cause we're ravenous!

Ok, so...maybe I am taking it a little too far. Sue me. Or don't. The point is, not everyone is a super model. In fact, there's a ridiculous double standard that comes with weight. (and...of course many other things, but thats for another post!) It is possible to be pretty, handsome, and attractive even if you're overweight. Everyone has their own preferences. I've always found bigger guys attractive even when I wasn't heavier myself.

Anyway, the rambling, incoherent point of this post is...Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe that is something we curvy girls say to make ourselves feel better. Deal with it. Regardless...for anyone who is struggling with their self image like I have for years, I leave you with these wise words. Learn to LOVE yourself. You're all you have. Find your beauty, inside or out and cherish it. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, thats their problem. You can fix fat, or grey hair, wrinkles, cellulite, acne and even ugly. But as Tater Salad himself once said, you can't fix stupid. Not sure where I was going with that...but I don't have to make sense. It's MY blog. So there.

No comments:

Post a Comment