....And To HAUL A Good Night!

See this picture? Let's play a quick game of The Price Is Right. If you were in front of Bob Barker (or Drew Carey, which I personally think is blasphemy, but that's for another post) and he asked you for the "actual retail price of these items" what would you say? Let me give you some hints. The Pert shampoos go for $3.99 on sale at Walgreens....those Dove shampoos are somewhere around $4-5. The Osteo Bi-flex retails for $19.99, the Krill/Fish oil tablets $27.99 a box.

Now...as Bob Barker would say, "The actual retail price IS......"

The Coupon Craziness- Target Haul

Hello ladies and gents. Sorry it's been a while between posts, but as you can see, I have been a busy little bee clipping, organizing and researching some awesome deals. Keep reading if you'd like details on how I am saving all this money. I promise it's easy and you can do it too!

Adventures in Couponing

If you find yourself in dire financial straits...there may be a little relief on the horizon.

Day Two: "You Mean I Have To Do More Of This Shit?"

Day Two of our "Reboot"
You're probably wondering where the "Day One" post is. There wasn't one. And there's a damn good reason why...

What The F*ck Were We Thinking?

In a momentary lapse of any sort of rational judgement, I agreed to do the unthinkable. It's preposterous...it's ludicrous....it's a death wish...it's....

ROCK THE VOTE!

Dear people I like...and even the ones I don't....
Every day, I bring you awesome fun ways to waste time at work, or ways to procrastinate doing the dishes, etc.

Does Someone Hate Your Kids?

In case you haven't heard, people like to complain.
Whether about noise, or smells, or other offenses to the senses.
The most recent complaint is no exception.
People don't like your kid.

Charlie Sheen Ain't The Only One Winning!

Thanks to those of you who entered my first ever giveaway. 

The winner has been selected....

First Ever GIVEAWAY!!

With all the hubub of the holiday weekend, I was too busy to post yesterday as I said I would.  You all have my deepest apologies!

Without further ado....The Rules for my first giveaway!!

Happy 4th of July!

Today is a day I will forgive you for not reading Rose And The City. :)
Go forth, on the Fourth....to the beach, to the park, to a barbeque.
Have a hot dog, or a "meat substitute tofu weiner". Drink a cocktail, (only if you're not driving), hug your family, hug a solider...just do yourself a favor and get his or her permission first or it could get weird.

Happy Independence Day America...let us not forget why we are free...and who made it so.

Move Over Skeletor! We are HUNGRY! (Also....a GIVEAWAY!!!)

WHO IS THIS? Read on to find out!

I never thought I would live to see the day, that supermodel Kate Moss would be referred to as "curvy"...let alone fat. I never thought much about how absolutely weight crazy this country had become. I never thought I would start to truly accept my body and learn to listen to it's wants and needs. I never thought I would go "Hungry".

Letter To Our Exes: Part 2

If you haven't already read Part One Yesterday please check that out first before reading!

Letter To Our Exes

Before I show you the final letter, I just want to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who commented, shared and re-tweeted my post asking for your submissions. It has been my most popular, most read post EVER. That is so incredible, and so is the final result. Finally, you all get the last word. This was your chance to say the things you couldn't say, or didn't say for whatever reason. The stories are yours, the words are yours...and I couldn't be happier for all my readers banding together to make this happen. I got so many responses, I had to break it into two posts.
Without further ado...here is our Letter To Our Exes PART ONE:

It's All Fun And Games Till Someone Gets Maced

I have a friend. We will call him "J". He's a nice enough guy, your average teddy bear type. But for some unknown reason...he has the WORST luck with women. And no, I am not exaggerating. I have never met someone who is getting crapped on more in his quest to no longer walk the planet alone.

When Did Skeletor Become Master Of The Universe?

Do you dream of looking like this? 

Did I miss something?
It feels like I woke up one day, and the world pulled the rug out from under me.
When did sickly, skeletal waifs become the latest trend? What do we call this look? Emaciated Chic?

1990 Called, They Want Their Punchline Back...

I walked into the kitchen, and Andrew was standing there with a hammer. He had a nail in the other hand. 

I watched him strike the nail, driving it into the wall until it was where he wanted it. He then turned and smiled at me. 

I smiled back.

Road Trip!

It's officially summer (finally) and if you're anything like me, you suddenly have the uncontrollable urge to hit the open road. But you are faced with a huge dilemma. And it's not the painfully absurd price of gasoline.

Help Bring Lauren Home!

This is a far cry from my usual wit and sarcasm, but something this serious calls for drastic measures. Tonight I am asking for your help in locating missing college student Lauren Spierer from Bloomington, Indiana. Her family needs everyones help raising awareness and effort to locate Lauren and bring her home.

Click  for more information

Rage Against Reality

Almost everyone is guilty of watching at least one episode of "reality" tv. Let me remind you that there is nothing at all "real" about these shows. Including most of the breasts.

YOUR RESPONSE NEEDED! LETTERS TO OUR EXES

Did you ever wish you had gotten the last word? So many of us out there have dealt with complicated, awful breakups. For whatever reason we either didn't say what we REALLY meant to, said or done something we wish we hadn't. Life is about moving on, not holding onto "what ifs" and "should haves".  Rarely in life do we get a do-over. 

The "Great" Outdoors

It's summer time! (Almost) In the Land of 10,000 Lakes, we folks wait all year for summer. We brave negative temperatures and we measure our snow in FEET. Inches are for wusses. So during the 4 or so decent days in the summer where its not raining, stiflingly hot, sickeningly humid and festering with mosquitoes...we go camping.

In a few short weeks, I will be "roughing it" about as much as any city girl can....I will be sleeping in a tent. With an air mattress. And an electric fan. And my laptop. At a site with running water and flushing toilets. Across the street from the largest water park conglomerate in America. Our second annual camping trip to Wisconsin Dells.

We will be staying at the same park we did last year. And last year was an adventure to say the least....

Califor-incarceration

Dear California-

How are you? It's been a while since I saw you last, we should get together again real soon. Let's maybe invite Vegas as long as she can keep her top on.

How Broke Is Broke?

In these difficult economic times, everyone claims to be broke. CEO's and companies whine every day that they have no money, and therefore have to lay people off or beg for a bailout. But those of us at the tail end of the food chain know what broke REALLY feels like.

In care you are uncertain if you are really truly broke, I have compiled a list.

 The following are the Top Ten Ways To Tell If You're Broke.

Professor Rose's Annual Message to Grads

Last spring, I wrote the following post around graduation time. This year, I thought I would re-post it, especially since my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. (ew. Why did I remind myself??)

I think the messages in this post are important, and while I don't get serious often, I think this is an important read for any new grad whether college or high school, as well as for families too. 

Please read and feel free to share and repost for anyone who has or is currently dealing with a quarterlife crisis. Even better if they become a follower and I can cheer them up with my wacky antics. :)

Enjoy!

My Boyfriend Speaks Cat....A Rooftop Adventure

This kitten is smitten

My cat Loki, is probably on his 7th or 8th life. He's fallen out of windows, been chased by dogs, been stuck in fences...the list goes on and on. He's also incredibly smart...and incredibly stupid.  

Several weeks ago, Andrew announced to me that he could speak "cat". 

Yeah...I know. I wonder about his sanity on occasion too. 

But he swore up and down that the cat understands him. Little did I know, it would save the damn cat's life.

Working Saturday Is Shitty...So Is This Post....

It's Saturday morning. And I have to work. So...instead of a real post, I pulled something from the Rose and The City archives that you all might enjoy. It's a humorous story of Bear and Shadow from when I lived in New York. I still remember that horrible morning. It's funny now...

It Doesn't Suck...Your Review Does!

“I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them” - George Bush

Ladies and gents...if you're going to go through the trouble of writing a review for a product or service, do you think you could find it deep within your soul to at least make it useful for the reader?

I am in the process of trying to buy a car as you may have read in my post World's First Virtual Bake Sale. As a prudent shopper (aka: a broke ass who needs to buy something that is going to last!) I am someone who scours the interwebs for data. I spend hours reading stats, research, and most importantly, reviews.

The Blog Heard Round The World

In honor of the recent interview questions surrounding the origins of Rose And The City, and the fact that I am on four hours of sleep, a 12 hour work day finished off with three hours of car test driving/shopping...I give to you a "vintage" blog post circa July 2008. The day I packed up all my belongings in my car (whatever would fit, plus my dog and cat) after a bad breakup with an alcoholic ex-boyfriend and drove my ass from Minnesota to Long Island New York to heal and start over.  The following words are from the very first blog post on Rose And The City. It's the blog heard round the world. 

Movin' On Up!

Yesterday I was interviewed by Tony at Blog Catalog for their Blogger Behind The Blog feature.

Here's the link to the article. It's really exciting to know that people actually read what I write, and some of them even enjoy the occasional moment of it!

If you are a blogger, you should definitely join Blog Catalog, it's been a great experience and the people are awesome.

If you are not a blogger, you should definitely check out some of the amazing writing talent at Blog Catalog. There is literally something for everyone! Loads of great stuff there (and no, Tony did not pay me to say that. But he totally should!)

World's First (?) Virtual Bake Sale!

Today, in 102 degree heat my transmission went out in my car on my way to work. This is unfortunate because of many things. Namely because I do not have the money to buy a car at the moment. This means 12 hour days of driving Andrew to work, then driving home or wasting time near work (we work 1/2 hr away from where we live!) until my shift starts, then working 8 hours, then waiting for Andrew to pick me up. Gross!

Someone suggested doing a fundraiser, I am going to do one better. I present to you the world's first VIRTUAL BAKE SALE!

Here's how it works: You make a donation with the Paypal link in the upper left corner of my home page, then send an email to me at roseandthecity@yahoo.com. In return, (once I verify the donation) you get a picture of something awesome and delicious that I have baked. I may even include a copy of the recipe I used if you are interested. It may be a delicious baked good, or a yummy meal. Regardless, you get a delicious picture and a recipe, and I get a little closer to a gallon of gas. Maybe I will raise enough to buy myself a bicycle to pedal my ass to work in this 100 degree 100% humidity hell. You may donate as many times as you wish, and feel free to spread the word and annoy the crap out of your friends. Or just let them laugh at my desperation. Whatever works.

And for those of you who are not into provocative photos of pastries, let's not forget that there's always the awesome Rose And The City Merch for every occasion!

*Note: Rose And The City is not responsible for damage to computers due to drooling on screen, or crumbs in keyboards. Please use the photos responsibly.

Dear Class of 2011....Now What?

Nana always used to tell me "Education is never wasted".

I think she just said that to make me feel better about squandering a ridiculous amount of money on an as-of-yet-incomplete attempt to get a fancy piece of paper with my name on it. 

Ice? No dice!

We ran out of ice yesterday in the freezer. It was hot, and we only had warm soda. All I wanted was a cold frosty beverage, and yet, there was none to be found.

Reaching the end of my rope, I asked Andrew if he knew of any ice that might perhaps be stashed away somewhere. He fearfully peaked into the freezer, knowing full well there was none in there, but hoping some might miraculously spawn to save him my wrath.

CELEBRATE!

It's rare...but I am almost speechless....

AdSense Makes No Sense. Or Cents.

You might notice a difference in Rose and The City recently.

Something has changed. Do you know what it is?

An Ode To Bear

My sweet Bear Bear, my devilish little pup,

I love you dearly, but I am totally fed up.

Rose And The City Has Gone Mobile!

"I love being a trend-setter....I'm buying stock in Rose And The City....
And get me one of those bitchin' coffee mugs while you're at it!"

Now you can enjoy my pointless ramblings even when you're away from home!
Rose and The City has been optimized for viewing on smartphones and other mobile devices.

So you have zero excuse not to read up on all the juicy goodness.

And while you're at it...share the love with a friend. After all...misery loves company.

What's In A Name?

You all know me as Rose...

But what you don't know is that I have a secret....

That's not my "REAL" name....

Deliciously Deceptive: My "Special" Problem

Special is a word that is often overused. Sometimes you look at something pretty average, and you think "what's so damn special about that?" Someone just slaps those 7 letters on a wrapper or a sign and instantly our judgement fails us and we all turn into giddy children, constipated with excitement.

Summer Survival

If you've been living in a cave every summer since the  beginning of time, fear not. I have compiled a list of the most important things to remember this summer vacation. Whether you will be sitting at home in an inflatable kiddie pool, throwing waterballoons filled with Jell-o at your neighbors dog, or going on an exotic vacation, you will need to follow this survival guide to summer, or you face an almost certain horrible death.

PS: If you are indeed going on an exotic vacation, I hate you, and I hope you get molested by a fat man in a Speedo. 

Going Gaga

Put your paws up, cause baby...I was NOT born this way....

I was reading Lady Gaga's tweets the other day. I noticed that she refers to all of her fans as Monsters. As in "Thanks to all my little monsters who came out to the show". It actually made me laugh out loud, and got me thinking. And now...I'm going Gaga.

Can You Hear Me NOW?

If I shove that smart phone up your ass, will it make you smarter?

 What's that? I'm having trouble hearing you.

LIfe's A Bitch...And Then You Marry One.

It's that time of year again...the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping and the maniacal brides have begun their annual decent, plunging their bedazzled talons into many an unsuspecting salesperson.

Bridezilla (n.): a perfectionist and extremely difficult bride. See also: acquired situational narcissism.

That's Not Chocolate....aka: The Story of Why I'm Not Black

This may come as a shock to you, but once upon a time, I was a very sweet and innocent little girl.
(pause for laughter to stop)

No, seriously. I was.

I was born on a Thursday morning. Really fucking early. None of this is relevant. What is relevant however, is that I was born with a birthmark on my left upper arm. This small brown circle has caused so much issue in my life, its actually rather ridiculous. We will stick to the point here and discuss the important fact, of how it's really not chocolate. And why I am not black.

Friday's Smile of The Day

It's finally Friday! Be glad you're not a canary. 

These Are My Confessions Part One...

So, Usher had the right idea a few years back when he came out with his Confessions album.

What's wrong with just putting all the cards out on the table? I think it only fair to give adequate warning about what kind of person I really am. The deep down, nitty-gritty truth. So raw it's goddamn sushi.

Thursday's Smile Of The Day

Thursday's Smile is a lovely NSFW bedtime story for grownups. If you have ever tried to put a child to bed, you know it's often like trying to put trousers on a rabid unicorn. If you do not chuckle at this, I am fairly certain you have lost your funnybone. 

It's almost Friday!!

Be An Asshole, Just Don't Drive Like One.

We are all guilty of occasionally being an inattentive driver. You're feeling around in your purse for your cell phone when it rings, or yelling at your kids in the backseat, or eating a burger, or making a call. I am even guilty of the occasional makeup application in the rear-view mirror. But some people take their downtime during their driving commute a little too far. Sometimes the things people do while driving are incredibly dangerous...sometimes they are just fucking weird.

Wednesday's SOTD

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside....

You made it halfway through the work week. Surely that deserves a raise? 

Push My Buttons

Hello all you fabulous people! What would you say if I told you that you could have my sexy ass face on your blog page? You'd say "HELL YEAH, WHERE DO I SIGN UP!?"

Small Appliances: A Love Affair

If I let you in on a secret, do you promise not to think of me any differently? I am an alright chef, and a decent baker, but I have a secret love...