This may come as a shock to you, but once upon a time, I was a very sweet and innocent little girl.
(pause for laughter to stop)
No, seriously. I was.
I was born on a Thursday morning. Really fucking early. None of this is relevant. What is relevant however, is that I was born with a birthmark on my left upper arm. This small brown circle has caused so much issue in my life, its actually rather ridiculous. We will stick to the point here and discuss the important fact, of how it's really not chocolate. And why I am not black.
