What Do I Want?

I have been reading the book 20 Something 20 Everything by Christine Hassler. If you haven't read it, or haven't heard of it....go get it. Now.

Without boring you with details, I will just share the jist of it and a part that I just read that is really sticking out in my head. It is basically a book about the "quarter life crisis" alot of women go through in their 20's. About all the "shoulds" in your life versus what your "wants" or desires are.

"We are truly suffering from a "should" epedemic that generates feelings of confusion and anxiety. Georgia, 20, is a junior in college. She and all her eight girlfriends from high school are doing what they are supposed to do: going to good colleges so they will have promising careers, getting into good relationships, and concerning themselves with looking really good.

I cannot think of one friend who is happy. My friend who has her career mapped out for her is clinically depressed. My friend who has a great guy she wants to marry has a workaholic mother whom she never sees and a stepfather she can't stand. Another friend, who is gorgeous, has an eating disorder. We are all doing the things we THINK we should be doing, but not one of us is happy."

That part really stuck out to me, as well as this one:

" If we peel away, one by one, our illusionary ideals, which are disguised as shoulds, we can find the root of what we really want."

I am going to really take a step back and identify what I am doing in my life because I "should" be, (or what I am NOT doing but "should" be doing) and really try to seperate that out. Who says what we should be doing? What makes them so God damn smart?

It seems to me that the people who are telling me what I should be doing are trying to live vicariously through me anyway. Get your own life. This one is mine!